My Library My Favorites
About Contact

A Shmuz Course

Validate,

What if you could change the direction of a difficult conversation?

Learn how to stay connected when emotions run high.
Start Validating, Not Escalating See What You'll Learn
HEATED CALM validate escalate connected

When emotions rise, even good communication skills can become difficult to remember.

  • You may know you should listen.
  • You may know you shouldn't get defensive.

But in the middle of a heated conversation, knowing what to do actually doing it. They are two different things.

Validate, Don't Escalate takes the principles of validation and turns them into practical communication skills you can learn, practice, and use in real conversations.

Because when conflict gets difficult, practice makes the difference.

Stop escalating. Start validating.

When a fight starts, it's easy to fall into the same familiar pattern.

  1. One person gets upset.
  2. The other becomes defensive.
  3. Emotions rise.
  4. Both people try harder to be heard.

And the conversation gets further and further away from understanding.

This course helps you slow that cycle down.

You'll learn how to:

  • Recognize what's really happening during a fight.
  • Identify emotions.
  • Reflect what you're hearing.
  • Respond without immediately escalating the conversation.

The goal isn't to avoid difficult emotions. It's to learn what to do with them.

What you'll learn

Turn the principles of validation into practical skills.

Inside the course, you'll move beyond simply understanding validation. You'll practice the techniques that make it easier to use when conversations become difficult.

  1. 01

    The Problem

    Understand why difficult conversations escalate and why knowing what to do isn't always enough.

  2. 02

    What's Really Going On in a Fight

    Look beyond the argument and recognize what is happening emotionally between both people.

  3. 03

    Validate: The Magic Wand

    Learn how validation can change the direction of a difficult conversation.

  4. 04

    The Four Skills

    Discover the core skills that make validation practical and effective.

  5. 05

    Practicing Naming the Emotion

    Learn how to identify and put words to the emotions behind what your spouse is saying.

    Practice
  6. 06

    More Practice Naming the Emotion

    Build confidence by continuing to practice this essential skill.

    Practice
  7. 07

    The Strategy

    Learn how to approach difficult conversations with a clear strategy instead of reacting in the moment.

  8. 08

    When Do I Get a Chance to Talk?

    Understand how to create space for both people to be heard.

  9. 09

    Simple Reflections

    Practice reflecting what your spouse is experiencing so they know you're listening.

    Practice
  10. 10

    More Simple Reflections

    Continue practicing until the technique becomes more natural.

    Practice
  11. 11

    The Technique

    Bring everything together and learn how to apply the skills in real conversations.

Start learning how to validate instead of escalate.

Start Validating, Not Escalating

Don't just learn it. Practice it.

An idea

Understanding validation is a great start.

But in the middle of an emotional conversation, you need more than an idea.

A skill

You need a skill you can actually use.

That's why this course is built around practice.

You'll repeatedly work on:

  • Identifying emotions
  • Reflecting experiences
  • Listening effectively
  • Responding without escalating

The more you practice, the more naturally these skills can become part of the way you communicate.